How Can I Be Helpful? A guide for providing pastoral care to young people in a mental health crisis

Note: The Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministries is grateful to the Rev. Ed Cardoza, Eva Dalzell, Beth Graham LICSW, Brian Litzenberger PhD, Emily Sugg, the Rev.. Christopher Whiteman, and other members and friends of the Adolescent Mental Health Network for their help in creating this guide and its related resource lists.

This guide is designed to offer some ideas and things to consider for a clergy person or youth worker supporting a young person through a mental health crisis. We will cover the ways that an adolescent may arrive in your care, some things to consider while talking to adolescents in crisis, and tips for building supports in that relationship, offering further resources, and making plans to follow up. 

• Making Contact 

There are different ways that a crisis might come to your attention. Each situation will be unique, and yet there are some patterns to be aware of, depending on the circumstances. 

When a young person comes to you, it’s important for both you and the young person to have a clear sense of what you can and can’t do in a pastoral relationship. Early in the conversation, explain to the young person that this is confidential, sacred space, EXCEPT if you learn that they are going to harm themself OR if someone has harmed them. In these cases, it CAN’T be confidential.

Please also keep in mind that, when an adolescent has reached out to you, they are showing a great deal of trust and vulnerability. Try to honor that trust however you can.

Throughout the initial conversation, as you triage and assess, lead with open-ended questions such as “What is going on? What's up? What brings you to this conversation? How are you doing? How are you feeling?”, and How can I be helpful?”

If you already have a relationship with a young person and can tell something’s not right, don’t be “cagey.”  Be honest, curious, and direct, without being threatening. Ask the young person to talk. You can create some space and give teenagers agency and control of their situation. Give them the sense that you are there for them. (For more on being direct, see “Ask the Hard Questions,” below.)

If someone else has reached out to you about this person, it may be because the young person told their parents that they’d like to talk to the clergy or youth leader. On the other hand, it could be the caretaker’s idea entirely, which makes it even more necessary to hold clear and firm boundaries. Clergy and youth leaders must be very careful about what is shared with parents. It is often tempting for us to share, and this may not be the right thing to do in a given situation. Again, explain to the young person:  this is confidential, sacred space, EXCEPT if you’re going to harm yourself OR if someone has harmed you. In these cases, it CAN’T be confidential.

• Having the talk

There are many things to keep in mind while talking to a young person in crisis. Some are outlined above— trust that they are the experts in their own experience and be honest about your role and the boundaries you are setting. Here are a few more things to consider. 

Set boundaries:

• Make sure you have appropriate boundaries and follow “Safe Church” guidelines. You can meet at a coffee shop, for example, and still have plenty of privacy. Or you could sit outside the church, if you know another adult is nearby in the building.

• If you’re meeting virtually, please check out our suggestions for Safeguarding in Digital Space.

• If you’re considering saying something to a young person’s parents, is saying something going to be helpful? Trust your instinct but check your impulse.

• Define the relationship between yourself and the young person. Make it clear how often you are able to check in (is this a one-time meeting to get the young person connected with the resources they need, or will you meet again for ongoing pastoral support?). It may be helpful to clearly articulate here that pastoral care is NOT therapy, but that you are still here to listen and to help however you can. 

Keep context in mind:

There are many things that could be impacting a young person’s life. This is by no means an exhaustive list, just a few things to keep in mind as possibilities. 

• Young people recognize (for the most part) that the stigma is starting to disappear and may already have a “scaffolding” system in place for help.

• It’s important to remember that they are the expert regarding their own experience, especially if they hold identities different to yours. Black and Indigenous People of Color and LGBTQ+ people, in particular, have additional issues to cope with. 

• It’s tempting for young people to look up symptoms on the internet and, though self-diagnosis is not the last stop, a young person saying that something is wrong is usually a pretty good sign that something is, in fact, wrong, and a self-diagnosis can be an important first step to getting a professional diagnosis and help.

• The young person in question have recently grown out of pediatric care and this may be a crisis inflection point.

• There is particular complexity around addiction: more young adults – now freshmen and sophomores in college – are struggling with addiction and are looking for treatment. Clergy are always encouraged to refer out and not try to “fix it” in this and other such situations.

• The youth may be self-harming, drinking or isolating, etc. Try to determine if this is a “boiling point,” a point at which it is necessary to involve professional help immediately.

Ask the hard question:

If you are concerned that the young person is at risk of hurting themselves or someone else, it is important to ask that question. Here are key questions to ask if you are concerned about suicide: 

• Do you feel like harming yourself?

• Do you have the means to do this?

• Do you have a plan?

Please note that if you assess that the level of lethality in that moment ((how likely someone is to harm themselves or someone else) is high, action needs to be taken to ensure safety at that moment. However, if lethality is not high but suicidal ideation is present, additional supports for the person have to be brought in. This is an important place to remind the young person you’re talking to that that you will have to let someone know if there is serious risk behavior going on and that there are certain things that you can't keep secret. 

• Widen the circle of care

  As a clergy person or youth leader, you can be an ally by NOT  “spiritualizing” a young person’s emotional pain. Assuring a young person in crisis, for example, by telling them that “God is holding them close to Her bosom” may be helpful but is not sufficient. Science and faith are not mutually exclusive, and it’s important to be there for pastoral care while also recognizing when it’s necessary to refer a young person to professional help.

Pastoral care is a powerful tool and should definitely not be the only thing in your toolkit. Clergy & youth leaders should build a list of mental health care providers to refer out to, including school counselors and local mental health care providers. We have compiled some hotline numbers that we hope will be helpful to get you started.

Peer support for caregivers can be stabilizing to those who are dealing with a particular kind of concern about their child. You might ask a caregiver if they’re aware of any parent support groups in the area and, if not, help them get connected with such a group. It’s important for both youth and parents to realize that there are many groups to help! Make sure that they aren’t isolated and that they have resources. 

In the meantime, you can offer what you can: a listening ear, an outside perspective, and a companion in prayer. Pray with them, not for something but just for their awareness of God’s presence and love for them.

Thank you for taking the time to be an ally and a resource to the young people in your community and your ministry. There are resources out there to help you and the young people and families in your care. (Not enough, but there are some.) We’ve compiled some, but if you’d like to share some that you’ve found helpful, or get connected with more resources or other youth workers who are supporting young people in crisis, we’d love to hear from you! 

Hotlines for Mental Health Crises

In light of the ongoing pandemic, and in anticipation of a continued mental health crisis as we move into winter, the Adolescent Mental Health Network has put together a list of hotlines and other emergency resources for mental health crises. As most hotlines work best when you’re calling for yourself, rather than on someone else’s behalf, we would encourage you to make this list available to the young people you work with. Please note the text lines; many people find texting to be easier than calling in times of crisis.

Please also know that if a child is unsafe, it is always best to go directly to the nearest emergency room. In Massachusetts, the Emergency Services Program/Mobile Crisis Intervention (ESP/MCI) also supports Mobile Crisis Units, which provide emergency behavioral health crisis, intervention, and stabilization services provided statewide and can be contacted at 1-877-382-1609.

National Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 support

National Suicide Prevention Line: 800-273-8255

Samiritan Hotline (MA only): 877-870-4673

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ specific): 866-488-7386, 

Trevor Text (LGBTQ specific): text START to 678678

Please also note that, if you are speaking with someone who is contemplating suicide, or in any other sort of urgent crisis, the first step is to go to the nearest emergency room immediately. It may also be helpful to familiarize yourself with the procedure for calling the Mobile Crisis Intervention/Emergency Services Program.

Re-Gathering Protocols for Stage Two

As restrictions on gatherings begin to ease, youth groups and Confirmation classes are wondering about finding ways to gather in person. This is a reasonable instinct; the importance of social interaction during the adolescent years can’t be overstated. That said, if congregations decide to gather groups of middle and high school students together, it must be done in the safest possible way.

The A Journey By Stages guidelines, assembled by the dioceses of Massachusetts and Western Massachusetts, provide a wealth of helpful information. Complimenting these guidelines, expanded protocols were issued August 6 to supplement and seek to clarify how the guidelines for small group meetings apply to youth ministry gatherings during Stage Two. 

As you start thinking about what your youth ministry gatherings will look like for the 2020-2021 year, we ask that you use your best judgement and consult these protocols, for the health and safety of everyone invoved.

Icebreakers, Games, and Activities for Virtual Meetings

At our last Youth Worker Virtual Gathering, we talked about ways to make virtual gatherings with young people a little more fun and engaging. Here are some ideas that we came up with!

For tips on how to use Zoom to its fullest potential, check out Lifelong Learning at VTS’s youtube page for a series of quick, helpful videos.

Warm-Up

Small Group Check-In (with a prop!): Prompt everyone in the group to find an object from around their house that represents how they’re feeling mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Break the group into breakout rooms, and give them a couple minutes to share with the other members of their group. This gives everyone a chance to engage on the level they feel comfortable with— doesn’t force anyone to go “too deep.” It’s also a good way to get started talking to the other people in the group, particularly if it’s been a while since you’ve met.

Words of warning: Despite the relative flexibility of the prompt, it can still be a heavy question to start with, if people really aren’t feeling okay. Additionally, people should be encouraged to leave their device where it is if they need to go search for an object, so they don’t give an impromptu (and motion-sickness-inducing) house tour.

Scavenger Hunt: Come up with a short list of household objects and split into breakout rooms. Each group should strategize about who can find which objects, and then rejoin the main group once they’ve assembled everything on the list.

Word of warning: Particularly for younger groups, it’s important to get in touch with parents so they know what to expect (and they can put objects in easy reach, to minimize the chaos of searching).

Would You Rather…?

There are a couple great ways to set up this icebreaker. The [polls] function on Zoom can be used to create short quizzes or, in this case, “Would You Rather…?” questions. For some great question ideas, check out this list. For a more impromptu version of this game, ask people to clap-react for one option or thumbs up-react for the other (for example, “clap if you’re a dog person, thumbs up if you’re a cat person”).

Games and Activities

Whiteboard Games

The Whiteboard feature can be accessed by clicking on “share screen” and selecting “Whiteboard” on the dropdown menu. All participants can then draw or write on a shared screen by clicking “annotate”. Some suggested uses for this feature include:

• Responding through art to prompts like

  • Draw how you’re feeling today

  • Draw what Jesus might do in this situation

  • Draw what it will look like when our congregation is all together again

• Praying in color

  • Share a prayer on the screen and invite the group to decorate it however they feel moved.

• Group poetry

  • Pick a random page and line number (ex. Page 34, line 5) and have each person find that line in a book close to them

  • Each person types that line in using the text feature on the whiteboard

  • Read out your poem!

• Drawing-based games like Hangman and Pictionary

Jeopardy

There are plenty of templates to make a Jeopardy-style slideshow, and all you’d need to do as the host would be to share your screen and click through the slides. The upside of this is that almost all young people will be familiar with the format, given its popularity as a review tool.

Bonus: if you share your computer’s audio (by clicking the check box at the bottom of the “share screen” option window) you can have Jeopardy music, too!

Prayer

You may also want to take time to hold moments of prayer with your group. Here are some tips that we’ve found helpful so far.

• Pull up an order of prayer on your computer and share the screen so everyone can follow along

• Pick one person to lead and one to be the “designated responder” and have everyone else mute their microphones—unfortunately, multiple people praying together just doesn’t work.

• Using a Prezi or some other visually appealing presentation format may be a fun way to keep younger kids engaged.

Of course, we’re all learning quickly as we adjust to online youth ministry, and we’ll definitely all be coming up with new ideas, improvising, and generally flying by the seats of our pants. If you’ve discovered some great ideas for your online meetings, please let us know! Meanwhile, we hope you’ll join us at the next Youth Worker Gathering as we continue to support and learn from each other in this time of change and challenge.

Safeguarding in Digital Space

In the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, much of ministry has moved online. Though this shift offers great opportunities for fun and innovation, as well as a chance to highlight the expertise and abilities of those not traditionally in positions of leadership, there have been a lot of questions about how to adapt the model policies for safeguarding our children to digital media. The world of livestreamed services, Zoom meetings, and group chats has different strengths than the “analog” version of youth ministry that most of us are used to, but it also has blind spots, vulnerabilities, and areas of confusion. It’s likely to take us a long time to figure out how to best do youth ministry remotely.

However, there are already a few great resources out there. Sarah Stonesifer Boylan from Lifelong Learning at VTS has made a short video with best practices for Zoom meetings. The Diocese of California’s creating church online page also has some important reminders about safety in online ministry, as well as some livestreaming and liturgy resources.

These resources have been incredibly valuable and informative for us, and we highly recommend that you familiarize yourself with them. However, if you don’t have the time to read through all of them, or just need something quick to pass on to mentors or parents, most of our best practices can be boiled down to two guidelines. 

The spirit of all safeguarding rules still apply. In particular, note: 

1. Follow the Rule of Three, and do not meet one-on-one with a young person if you cannot be observed by a third party. This includes Zoom meetings, text conversations, and phone calls.

2. Do not publish images of minors along with their full names, and obtain written consent from a parent or guardian before publishing images at all. “Publishing,” in this context, includes any sort of livestreaming.  It also includes posting those fun “Brady Bunch” screenshots of your virtual youth group meeting. 

Be deliberate about how you use Zoom and other videoconferencing technologies

1. There are many adjustments that can be made in Zoom that will help keep all participants safe: enabling a “Waiting Room” in your meeting can prevent you from ending up in an accidental one-on-one, turning off screen-sharing for anyone but the host ensures that no one can accidentally or intentionally share inappropriate or embarrassing content— the list goes on and on. 

2. Take time to familiarize yourself with privacy and sharing settings, and be deliberate in the choices you make with these settings.

Finally, discussing these measures openly with young people, and making it clear why we are taking these steps, is a great way to invite them to take ownership of their own safety online.

Thank you for working to ensure the safety of our young people as we adapt to this new way of being. If you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to reach out to the the Rev. H. Mark Smith.

Connected Together from DioATL

In light of the current COVID-19 pandemic, youth workers and other church leaders are scrambling to find ways of staying connected, and bringing comfort and community to those who are sick, isolated, and anxious.

Today, we’d like to highlight the Diocese of Atlanta’s Connected Together page, a hub of useful information for online gathering, broken into categories for Online Worship, Children and Youth Formation, Individual Prayer, Online Stewardship, and Communication and Connection.

Some of these resources are specific to the Diocese of Atlanta, and may be less relevant to you. However, many (particularly on the Children and Youth Formation list) are directly helpful, and all the lists are well-curated, concise, and relevant.

We hope these resources will be of use to you in this time of uncertainty and adjustment.

Thinking About Grief: Tips and Resources from the Dougy Center

This month, we’re highlighting The Dougy Center, a nonprofit that focuses on supporting grieving young people and their families. Some of the resources they provide include simple and accessible tip sheets (including ones  for young people who are grieving and for their friends and the adults in their lives), self-care tips for young people, and a Bill of Rights of Grieving Teens written by young people participating in programs at the Dougy Center. We hope these resources will help you to meet young people where they are and accompany them through a time of grief.

Thinking About Ash Wednesday and Lent

Though the New Year has just begun, Ash Wednesday is right around the corner (February 26th!) and it’s already time to start planning for Lent. Here are a few ideas that may be helpful in planning your Lenten curriculum and programming. 

Lent and Ash Wednesday are a great time to focus on bringing young people into a more full participation in worship. Because Ash Wednesday and many Holy Week services fall outside the standard church schedule, young people and families might not be expected show up at all. However, as the Reverend Rebecca Kirkpatrick writes in a thoughtful and moving article on the topic, “I continue to believe … that when we include children in these unique ritual moments they form a stronger connection with the community, with their tradition and with their own faith. It is by hearing, touching, tasting and experiencing these signs of grace and love that they are able to identify them as their own.” 

Though there is certainly a time and place to give children, teenagers, and young adults their own spaces to talk about for faith and community formation, the period from Ash Wednesday through Lent and Holy Week are central to our faith and offer the opportunity to grieve and celebrate together as an entire community. In fact, as Cindy Spencer writes  for episocpalchurch.org, “we do Lent [together] because our children deserve to practice hard things. Not alone, always together.  But that in doing so, we are equipping them with the Gospel message of hope and resilience. We are trusting them with the story, even the hard parts. And together, through the journey of Lent, we are able to travel on to Easter joy.”  

One helpful resource for inviting young people into full participation is the blog Worshipping With Children, which does tend to be geared toward much younger children. However, many of the featured ideas offer opportunities to get middle and high school-aged young people involved, whether in decorating the sanctuary or telling the stories that are so central to this season. As usual, we also recommend Virginia Theological Seminary’s BuildFaith.org, which has plenty of creative resources for the season. 

You may also have started hearing conversations about what people are “giving up for Lent.” Lenten disciplines are fairly common practice, and fasting, sacrifice, and self-denial can be powerful spiritual tools. However, focusing a discipline around “giving something up” without space for reflection can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and anxiety.

 It is also important to be aware of the ways in which diet-focused Lenten disciplines can have subtle ties to diet culture and disordered eating, particularly for young people. This is not to say that young people should be discouraged from committing to a Lenten discipline, simply that there should be care, thought, and support for them every step of the way. Discuss alternate forms of fasting, such as reducing social media, making time to journal or meditate, or committing to a certain amount of volunteer work. For more support, check out Lisa Brown’s  list of questions to talk through with young people in preparing for Lent, and familiarize yourself with the warning signs of eating disorders. 

There is a balance to strike here, between trusting young people to handle the difficult themes of suffering and death that we find during Lent and Holy Week, and supporting them through the entire process. Finding that balance can be difficult work, but we hope that the work will bring your congregation to Easter morning as an even stronger community. 

What We're Reading

The Youth Ministry Bookshelf

Here in the Office of Youth Ministry, we prioritize constant learning, examination, and growth, not only for the young people we work with, but also for ourselves. One way that we live into this priority is by making time to read and reflect. Here's a sample of the books on our shelves right now, in case you find yourself with some spare time this winter. Check one out from the library for yourself, or use them to start a book club or a conversation at your next youth group meeting!

Got any book recommendations for us? Let us know!

Short Stories By Jesus

The Enigmatic Parables of a Controversial Rabbi

Amy-Jill Levine

Amy-Jill Levine brings together historical context, deep analysis, and dry humor to dis-orient the reader for whom Jesus’ parables have become familiar, comforting, and predictable. The resulting parables are thought-provoking and a little unsettling, particularly when Levine takes the time to elaborate the ways in which the parables have been taken out of context to enforce anti-Semitic stereotypes. A thoroughly compelling read, Short Stories by Jesus might be particularly helpful for those looking for new ways to talk about the Gospel in the New Year.

The Dream Of God

A Call to Return

Verna Dozier

This book, in conjunction with Desmond Tutu’s God Has A Dream , both focused on the ways in which God calls us to help build the Kingdom of Heaven in our own world, have been instrumental in our work this year. Dozier writes with startling insight on the relationships between human beings, God, the church, and the world, speaking in particular of the ways that we are essential partners in the realization of God’s dream. We have found both texts particularly helpful in talking about our Middle School, High School, and Pre-Confirmation Retreats, which are built around the theme “Our World, Our Future.”

The Saint Who Would Be Santa Claus

The True Life and Trials of Nicholas of Myrna

Adam C. English

Just in time for Christmas, Adam C. English’s book is a historical investigation of St. Nicholas of Myra, the basis for the figure of Santa Claus. English, who by his own account “has been fascinated by the person and legend of Santa Claus for as long as he can remember,” provides context on Nicolas’ world of 3 rd - and 4 th -century Turkey, and traces Nicolas’ life, death, and legacy. For more information, check out the author’s 2012 NPR interview here.

Forms, Permissions Slips, and Templates

Below are generic templates for you to use.  Feel free to use and adjust any of them for your own youth events and groups! If you have specific questions about safety with youth, please be in touch with Mark! 

•   Covenant and Release Form >>

•   Driving Permission >>

Thinking About Advent

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

It seems like only yesterday we blessing backpacks at the start of the school year. And yet already the days are getting shorter, and it’s time to start making highways in deserts as we look toward Christmas. As we move into Advent, here are a few resources to help you and your young people explore this time of expectation, preparation, and incarnation.

Perennial favorites like the social media-based AdventWord (available this year in English, Spanish, and Haitian Creole) and Thomas Mousin’s beautiful and simple calendar can help to engage parishes and enrich worship.

Musically-inclined young people, for instance, may enjoy Charlotte Greeson’ lesson plan for teaching Advent with hymns. And while you are there, check out the other Advent resources offered by the Virginia Theological Seminary’s Finding Faith.

Getting hands-on with Advent crafts is a powerful and meaningful way to engage with the season. Advent wreathes are a popular choice, and there are plenty of tutorials available, from the basic to the “gourmet.” Use this guide to help your young people organize a wreath-making workshop for the whole congregation. Putting some focus on the liturgy of the advent wreath—either by spending some time talking about the meaning of each candle or writing prayers to use when lighting the candles--can help young people engage with a recognizable symbol in a new, personal way.

Finally, some groups may want to engage with the idea of Advent in the context of the world and the present moment. Many of the advent readings (the first, second, third, and fourth Sundays are compiled on episcopalchurch.org) lend themselves well to discussions of current events. Prepare a list of questions surrounding the reading you choose, but allow the young people in the group to guide the conversation as you explore these Advent texts.

For example , the reading from Isaiah (week one) describes a future in which the word of the Lord has brought about a time of peace, when tools of war become tools of agriculture and violence between nations comes to an end. Talk about what kind of world your young people imagine. What specific things would be different, and why? What hopes do they have for the world?

In week four, the story of the Annunciation offers a great opportunity for young people to talk about what it means to be part of God’s dream for the world. The Annunciation is often accompanied by Canticle 3, the song of Mary, which highlights issues of injustice and inequality, and looks to God as an agent of desperately-needed change, a common theme in many of the Advent readings. Make space for the young people in your group to articulate the ways they see issues of power and oppression in their world.

Finally, since Advent is a time of expectation and imagination, remember to make space to “look East” yourself and imagine what a better world might look like.

Sacred Ground: A Film-Based Dialogue on Race and Faith

Photo by Erez Attias on Unsplash

Sacred Ground is a film- and reading-based dialogue series on race and faith. Participants will walk together through America’s history of race and racism, while weaving in the threads of family story, economic class, and political and regional identity. It’s an invitation for small groups to gather to learn, share, and prepare to become Beloved Community.

“Sacred Ground is a time and opportunity to hear the story of our past with regard to race, to hear our stories of our pasts,” said The Most Rev. Michael Curry, Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church. “By listening to those stories and hearing them, and then telling our own stories together, and then looking possibly at the stories of our very faith, somehow, from the travail and the reality of all of those stories may emerge hope for a new day.”

Built around a curriculum of powerful documentary films, videos, and readings, this 10-part series considers some of the major chapters of the United States of America’s history of race and racism. It focuses on Indigenous, Black, Latino, and Asian American histories as they intersect with European American histories. Participants are invited to peel away the layers that have contributed to challenges and divides in the present day – all with a deep foundation in faith and love.

While not specifically written for young people and youth groups, the material is accessible and relevant and can easily be adapted for your young people.

Created by Katrina Browne, producer and director of the documentary Traces of the Trade: A Story from the Deep North, this small group resource is part of Becoming Beloved Community, The Episcopal Church’s long-term commitment to racial healing, reconciliation, and justice in our personal lives, our ministries, and our society. Sacred Ground is especially targeted to help white people talk with each other about racism past and present, their own racial identity, and the interwoven issues of class, region, and ideology.

Faith Lens: A Weekly Online Bible Study

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Every week during the academic year, our colleagues at the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America publish a lesson plan based on the weekly lectionary readings and connecting the themes of those lessons with the events and issues our young people are dealing with each and every day.

Some weeks the connection is to a specific event, such as the fire last spring in the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. Other weeks, broader issues, such as climate change, gun violence, and rebuilding efforts in Iraq, are the focus. Always, the lessons encourage participants to look at scripture through the lens of our daily life--and to consider our daily lives with the help of scripture.

Each lesson includes a warm-up question, a story for context, discussion questions, links to the lectionary texts, a study of the Gospel lesson, suggested activities, and even a link to a weekly comic strip based on the readings. Many include links to YouTube videos and other resources to supplement the lesson.

The lessons are designed to be suggestive rather than prescriptive, yet detailed enough to not require extensive preparation ahead of the lesson. Definitely worth checking out--or have some of your young people check out some of last year's postings , and advise you on whether they feel the lessons appropriate and relevant to your group.

Dismantling Racism Youth Curriculum

Dismantling racism is the work of a lifetime, and no single course of study will "fix" things. However, a well-designed curriculum with solid theology, good pedagogy, and useful materials can help jumpstart a conversation within a youth group and a church. This resource is one such opportunity.

The Office of Youth Ministry of the Diocese of Atlanta in partnership with The Absalom Jones Center for Racial Healing have designed, printed and piloted a groundbreaking six-week Dismantling Racism for Youth Curriculum for grades 6 through 12. The first draft of the curriculum was completed in July of 2017 and piloted during the 17-18 school year in 8 parishes with over 100 youth in participation. After receiving feedback, course refinements were made and now, they are now ready to share our work with anyone and everyone.

In order to receive the curriculum, one must complete their "train the trainer" course, a one-day training by the curriculum writers and others experienced with the course.

We would be happy to bring the training to this diocese if there is sufficient interest in bringing the training here. To express interest in this possibility, contact the Rev. H. Mark Smith, Diocesan Youth Missioner.

Let us continue to be Christians that address tough issues

choosing love over all else.

-Easton Davis, Youth and Young Adult Missioner, Diocese of Atlanta

#MeToo Story-Gathering and Resources

In recent years, the #MeToo movement has attempted to open up conversations about sexual misconduct and the effect it has on all aspects of modern life. The church is by no means exempt from this conversation, so the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts has created a place for those who have experienced, witnessed, or perpetrated sexual harassment or abuse to share their story. This form, open to people of all ages, along with procedures for reporting sexual misconduct can be found at diomass.org/MeToo. The #MeToo task force has also provided informational posters intended for display in bathrooms, offices, youth rooms, and parish halls. Copies of these posters in English and Spanish can be found on the website.

You may want to use the diocesan #MeToo resources to introduce the topic of sexual harassment in your  Youth Group (or when the topic comes up even if you don’t plan on it). Additional resources that may be helpful include the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s series on preventing sexual harassment in schools, particularly the article on teaching consent at every age. In 2018, the House of Deputies published a Lenten series of reflections on #MeToo written by women in the church. The Litany of Penance for Ash Wednesday, which begins the series, is compelling and thought provoking, and could become a springboard for robust discussion (What is the misconduct here? What is wrong with this statement or action? What do you do when this happens?). However, please note the other reflections in the series deal with personal experiences of harassment and abuse, which may be difficult for young people to engage with in a safe and helpful way.

Most importantly, remember to listen to the young people around you when this issue comes up. Meet them where they are, and answer their questions with honesty and compassion. These are difficult conversations for everyone, but a culture of sexual misconduct hurts us all. An adult’s awkwardness about these conversations can encourage silence among our young people, and silence only upholds the status quo.

Finally, please ensure that all adult volunteers and employees in your Youth Ministry have access to the updated Model Policy for the Protection of Children and Youth and have completed all necessary Safe Church training.

Thinking About Allyship: Making A Welcoming Space For LGBTQ+ Young People

Photo by Mercedes Mehling on Unsplash

The Episcopal Church has made commitments to inclusivity and affirmation of its LGBTQ+ members, but there is much still to be done to actively live out that promise. This information sheet is designed to be a resource for youth workers seeking to build a radically welcoming community and to work in alliance with LGBTQ+ young people in their ministry.

For more resources around welcoming LGBTQ+ young people in your faith community, we highly recommend the resources put out by the Center for LGBTQ Studies in Religion, particularly their Transgender Curriculum for Faith Communities and Restrooms Available for All!

These Are Our Bodies

These Are Our Bodies  is a new resource available through Church Publishing that helps us all have conversations about our sexuality within a faith community.The book is a theological and practical guide to conversation about the complexities of sexuality in today's world, grounded in the Episcopal tradition. This book includes the role of sexuality in our lives in all its dimensions as well as a practical guide to help inform church educators, clergy, parents, youth workers, or anyone who seeks to broaden their knowledge on this subject.

" There is an urgent need across the Church for faithful, honest conversations with young people about sexuality. Finally, we have the sturdy resource we need to hold them. Honoring the inherent tension between the beauty and the complexity of the God-given gift of human sexuality, These Are Our Bodies is written for real people with real lives. It invites parents and church leaders into the serious, hopeful work of integrating body and soul."

––Lisa Kimball, Ph.D., Associate Dean for Lifelong Learning, Virginia Theological Seminary

This book also serves as the foundation for the  These Are Our Bodies  educational materials. Teaching materials and curricula are available for elementary students, middle school students, high school students, young adults, and adults.

New Model Policy for Safeguarding our Children & Young People

In April 2018, a task force of the Episcopal Church released an updated "Model Policy for the Protection of Children and Youth" . The group also wrote a " Model Policy for the Protection of Vulnerable Adults ." This work was launched in 2015 by a resolution of General Convention, and over the next 2 and a half years, experts and practitioners from around the country worked on the update.

These model policies are grounded in Episcopal theology and baptismal promises to respect the dignity of every human being and dismantle unjust systems. They begin with a theological statement and include provisions for use of social media, mission trips, pilgrimages, camp and conference center programs, and other overnight events.

From the new model policy: "Ministry involves a necessary tension between a Gospel-based integrity and a Gospel-based intimacy as modeled by the life of Christ. A rigid adherence to a system of rules leads to an unproductive legalism. Yet, without the framework of the law, the intimate relationships into which Christ calls us risk distortion and harm. All the people of God are called to minister attentively within this tension. These model policies are intended to provide a pattern for attentive practice of ministry."

Among the most significant improvements, the new policies include definitions that reflect our current understanding of gender identity and sexuality, including Cisgender, Gender Non-binary, LGBTQ+, and Transgender, as well as provisions to enhance the understanding, welcoming and safety of all gender identities and expressions.

The Model Policies include enough detail to support those with limited experience to implement best practices and should prove a valuable resource for any congregation seeking to update their own policies and practices.

Confirmation Resources

Confirmation Resources

My Faith, My Life: A Teen’s Guide to the Episcopal  Church, by Jenifer Gamber  

The Five Marks of Mission and what it means to be a disciple of Christ are a focus of this new version, which also models student-centered learning as opposed to teacher driven instruction. For teen study and confirmation preparation, this book can serve as a curriculum for helping teens discover Scripture, church history, sacraments, the meaning and practice of prayer, and what ministry means in the lives of real teens today. A framework for small-group gatherings for each chapter is included as a new section in the back of the book. To help in teaching, there is a fabulous website, www.myfaithmylife.org, which contains helps for leaders as well as pages for youth and parents with a special focus on spiritual practices.  A separate revised leader's guide is also available. 

Confirm not Conform (CnC), (youth and adult versions)       

This curriculum for the Episcopal Church discribes itself as “a confirmation program that emphasizes giving youth a choice and a voice and  giving adults a safe space to explore their questions and choices.” The program is divided into 16 lessons covering a variety of topics and also includes plans for field trips and a weekend retreat.  Although teachers are needed for the class, the youth program also includes mentors, parents, and the entire congregation in the faith journey of those seeking confirmation.  Pricing is on a sliding scale based on parish attendance.  Please note that there is a confirmation service included in the program which will need to be adapted for use in a deanery-wide confirmation setting.
 
I Will, With God’s Help, by Mary Lee Wile

I Will With God’s Help for youth and adults is based on the Baptismal Covenant. It offers meditative, prayerful sessions that invite participants to share their own faith journeys in the light of Episcopal tradition. A leader’s guide, adult journal and youth journal for grades 8-12 are available.  A “mentor’s guide” helps in a program designed for more one-on-one mentoring rather than large classes. The sessions in the Leader's Guide can be completed in a traditional six- to twelve-week program, or adapted to contemporary innovations, such as an intense confirmation retreat or conference. Those using longer two- or three-year preparation programs will also find I Will, With God's Help ideal for immediate preparation for the sacrament. The activities are flexible and can be used for youth, adult, or intergenerational preparation programs. I will, With God's Help encourages ongoing support from the whole parish community and includes creative suggestions for congregational involvement. (Amy Cook says, "My experience is that this curriculum usually works best with older youth, and would need to be adapted for most junior high groups.")

Living Water: Baptism as a Way of Life, by Klara Tammany                       

"A must-have book for every parish priest!" This book is divided into eight sessions around baptism and the baptismal promises with plenty of extra material on how best to use the sessions. “Sessions” are so full of prayers, scripture, readings, and activities that it can be used as reference material only or as the basis for a complete lesson.  Loaded with resources, Living Water can be used in preparation for baptism, confirmation/reception, or reaffirmation of faith (although it is “not intended as a complete program of preparation for confirmation/reception.") Though written initially for adults, with some adaptation the sessions can be used in an intergenerational setting, or with children and/or youth.  Resource lists help link books, movies, and other media and ideas to each of the chapters.  The emphasis is on spiritual formation rather than academic knowledge. An excellent resource!

Confirmation Curriculum for Jr. High Young People, Episcopal Diocese of Alabama, 2005 (An adult curriculum is also available)

The Diocese of Alabama has offered the church a great gift in their FREE confirmation curriculum that they share on their website. These 21 lessons cover the areas of Christian Faith, Episcopal Identity, and Responding to God’s Love. They are well written and easy to use. There is a version for adults as well. 

Other Resources for Confirmation:
Resources at Forma:  https://www.forma.church/youth/

Do a search in www.buildfaith.org and there are several articles:  https://www.buildfaith.org/?s=confirmation

Special Note: these resources are provided and updated by Amy Cook, formerly of the Diocese of Massachussetts and now Working Group Head for Faith Formation in the Episcopal Diocese of California. 

Nurturing Young Prophets: A lesson plan based on the July 8, 2018 sermon at the General Convention Eucharist.

On Sunday, July 8, 2018, 18-year-old Andrés González-Bonillas preached at the General Convention Eucharist in Austin, TX. Sharing this 15-minute video can serve as an excellent discussion-starter for your youth group this summer or in the fall. In addition to a video of the sermon, the text is also available, in both English and Español.

Sharing this video with your youth group could be the springboard for an interesting discussion. What do they think about the preacher’s remarks? In what ways can they relate to his experience? In what ways is his experience different? This can lead to a discussion, or a whole curriculum, on cultural competency and dismantling racism. The sermon connects scripture and faith with the current events of the day. Does the church have any business getting into these matters? In the sermon, he lists reasons why he stays in the church. Why do your young people stay? And if they had the chance to preach to General Convention, what would they say? If they preached to your congregation, what would they say?

For more ideas, check out a lesson plan based on this video, written with the help of the preacher, Andrés González-Bonillas.